I Dance…

I dance…
mostly to get away from reality
to hide from embarrassing moments
to escape every day stresses
or the hurt of being rejected… one more time

I dance…
to forget
to get strength
to rebuild my confidence, believe in myself

to REMEMBER

I get lost among the words
the beats… 1-2-3
5-6-7 paying attention to the moment
1-2-3 what’s his next move?
5-6-7 gliding on the dance floor

I dance…
because it makes me happy
I forget people are watching
just tuned into my partner, my moves, the world passes by

And I just dance
1 – 2 – 3 – PAUSE
5 – 6 – 7 – PAUSE
I DANCE SALSA

no title, just some thoughts and emotion

It’s been almost a month. Sorry! There were many events at the beginning of the month that somehow have debilitated me, emotionally, I think.

 

Three days ago we, Catholics, celebrated Ash Wednesday. A day that not only marks the beginning of lent but also reminds us of our mortality and vulnerability as human beings. A reminder that all that is left after death is spirit and a way to strengthen that spirit is through prayer, communion and fasting. The sermon then continues about Jesus’ 40 days in the dessert, his festive welcome to Nazareth? and inevitable death, on a cross, for my sins.

 

This day marks the beginning of my favorite season in my religion, Lent. Time to say “NO” to the body and mind, you can do without those, luxuries. I deprive you of coffee… you can’t have beef/pork… no more facebook for you. Or quiet the opposite… DO! You will donate an hour to community service a day, you will go to mass on Sundays, you will pray a rosary for all lost souls. The penance you carry is your own choice but it builds your character. It applies discipline and if you’re (spiritually) conscience of what you’re doing you learn a lot about yourself and the society we live in.

 

But although this builds spiritual character it is the camaraderie (communion) you build in your everyday lives that keeps you alive once you’re gone. On February 5, I was notified of the passing of a former colleague, one of my professional role models. After the shock and disbelief (which lasted a couple days) I slowly began to accept it. The community that gathered after the news spread was composed of his close friends who offered a closer look at the person he was. The caring, giving, accepting demeanor he showed me and I saw him offer to students on several occasions were authentic. He had a playful, sarcastic, some noted “playfully” instigating, side to him as well but that was reserved for his friends, the people he was more intimate with and with who he allowed himself to let loose. I saw tidbits of his funny sarcasm while we worked together, after all he did let me call him “Chente,” the ‘Barrio/Rancho’ Mexican shortening of his name like Bill is to William in English. It is this friendship that will keep him alive in those of us who were given the opportunity to know him.

 

“Ash to ash, Dust to dust,” Ash Wednesday is suppose to remind me of my mortality, for over 20 years it’s done exactly that but this last year I’ve been reminded of it four times in a more personal way. I’ve lost 4 friends/family unexpected, just ripped away. And although I wasn’t close to some at the time of their parting the time we had shared has shaped my present thoughts and person. At some point I thought they would make an appearance back in my life, but there were other plans made out for us. All I’m left with is they’re memory of the good times we shared, the lessons taught and for me to live in the life they couldn’t.

 

This Wuangochi is for you Sugely Chaidez Ubaldo (thanks for the visit last night), Bernardo Avila, Francisco “Ramon” Vargas, and Vincent Aihara… Que descansen en PAZ!

 

 

UPDATE on previous POSTS: Still hiking on weekends and began doing ZUMBA — loving that one!

…Updating 2012…

Hill off of Avila Road and Pismo Beach

In August 2011 I went on a date with a guy I met online, yes I go online to look for ‘love.’  I wrote on my profile I like to hike, and I do, there are several locations close to work I hike weekly.  This gentleman thought he would test my skills and chose one the steepest, rockiest terrains in the area for our first (and only) date.  He speed walked while chatting… me, I was catching my breath and looking where to step next trying to catch up.  If you know me, I’m not much of a speed walker.  I enjoy taking my time, listening to nature, admiring the sceneries, overall taking in the experience.  By the end of the date he had left me behind fending for myself, saying, “If you can’t hike this trail all the other around the SLO area would be impossible” for me.

Never saw that clown again, good riddance.  With this 2012 perspective on life and search for those activity points, I set out to the same hill with a friend this past Sunday.  Under different circumstances and a more encouraging companion we hiked the same hill last Sunday.  We did the whole hike and had an awesome time together.  We even set Sundays as our hiking day, there are many trails to choose from; this will be our relaxing thing to do.

Just an update of my other personal projects:  My first post talked about cleansing and getting rid of things that slowed down change in my life.  Well two garage sales later I’m almost rid of all our clothing and other larger excess furniture.  In February I will continue visiting swap meets in search for loving homes for my belongings.

This week I’ve made an effort to look for workouts.  Aside from the hiking event I made it to a Zumba class yesterday.  I loved it except it was on cement floor and that’s a big no-no for any workout.  I’m in love with the workout so I’ll continue looking for other Zumba classes in wood floorings.

FEB: In February I will begin searching new career possibilities, explanation to follow in later posts.

Mobility

Almost 15 days later, here I am… once again 

The resolution was to post twice a week well that’s something I can work on, right now we’re going on 2 in two weeks.  The year so far has been great, I feel like I’m working toward a larger objective and I think the Maya’s will be right, it will be a new era.  The past two years my health has played a large roll in my attitude towards life, especially my inactiveness.  We’ll be changing that in 2012, this has always been a challenge for me since my workweek has 12-hour days but if I block time for it I think I can move more.

A couple days before NYE we were visiting family in Los Angeles and my sister was looking for different things to do so we decided to go to the Griffith Observatory.  As she read more about it we learned there are hiking trails to the Observatory, she thought it would be a good idea to hike up there.  OMG!!!  Easier said than done, we huffed and we puffed our way up to the observatory, as we reached the top I nearly felt like I was going to die.  At that moment I resolved to be healthy in 2012.

It’s difficult; my excuse of no time is still prominent.  I thought I’d go up for a hike this long weekend and instead I haven’t left the house.   My sister and I joined Weight Watchers last week, a big step towards a healthy objective.  5 years ago I lost 25 lbs. on Weight Watchers and I kept them off, WW taught me how to eat and what to eat that’s why I’m back.  The objective this time is higher but if I concentrate on my first 5% then another 10%, little by little I’ll be able to complete my weight goal.  Eventually I’ll need to get moving… this week I’ll incorporate it into my calendar.  That will be my objective this week…

Reaching the TOP

The girls (my nieces) had to carry me up the hill. Thanks ladies, couldn’t have made it up there without you. (Had a fun time with this photo shoot, LOL)

NEW BEGINNINGS, HAPPY 2012!!!

I’m back after 3 months of not posting and constantly thinking of wuangochi I’ve decided to make my blog priority in 2012.  As I thought about this post and how I would bring up my New Year’s resolution, I thought of summarizing the past.  I’ve decided against it, this is my New Beginning, my new take on life.  Although the past is the content that has formed the person I am it will make its appearances in my posts but only glimpses of life changing moments will appear.

2011 like 2007 has been a year of growth, many hits, plenty of falls and too much down time but I’ve come out the other side another person, hopefully stronger.  There was plenty of loss in 2011, friends and family, yet I feel that my peoples continuance to another realm mirrored my own.  Learning from my loved ones that this life is about enjoying it to the last moment, loving unconditionally, being happy and positive, and always to looking forward.  Ok, so I did talk a little about 2011…

Now to my New Beginning, 2012…

-       BLOG, the plan is to blog 2x a week and I’ve narrowed my subject to a few topics, Food, Love, Movies and Life

• Food because I’m a foodie, I love to eat out and my families recipes and Santa’s cruel gift to me this year was a waffle iron, a mixer, crock-pot and espresso machine.  I would love to share some of those adventures.
• Love because I’m searching for it and after a year on hiatus I’m ready to get back on the saddle.  But I’ve also learned that love is not about finding a partner but about the love around you and more importantly the love for myself.  I hope most of it will be the rediscovery of my AWESOMENESS!!!
• Movies because I love film, mostly have been watching mainstream HOLLYWOOD in the last few years but will search for more international and independent films, if I feel like it.
• Life, and this one is because life happens and I want to share it.

Now to figure out how to make different tabs on my blog page.

-  Weight Loss, like everyone in the first world I’m looking to loose weight.  More specific, I want to loose 25 lbs and I’m thinking of loosing them over the year, it averages at 2 lbs. a month.  This I hope will also fulfill another resolution… being active.

-   Paying off debt and saving money.  Times are rough and its time to get creative. I’ve done this in the past, I intent to do it again

So this is my New Beginning, I intend to mark my existence in the Internet, I see many doing this, I want to be part of the people that need to say something.  2012 year for change, lets make it happen.  LOVE PEACE AND HAPPINESS TO ALL!!!

… Still New…

It’s been over a month since I started “Wuangochi” and I’ve been feeling great about life, my friend Nicholle says its because I’m taking action I think its because its my favorite time of the year, Orientation. This year it came with added stress and made me realize I’ve outgrown my position in the office, time to search for another position. Not only this but my life feels like it wants to change directions so I’m shifting lanes.

I’ve begun this new transition in the past few weeks and I’ve noticed I carry a lot of old baggage, mostly in the literal sense. So I’m starting to clean out storage units, garages, and closets. Getting rid of my old life so my current life can expand, learn and grow within a new society. Unfortunately, I don’t have the luxury of throwing things out; we have bills to pay so we’re selling most our stuff. (I speak in plural because I’ve got my whole household participating)

In an earlier entry I mentioned reading “The Project Happiness,” and Gretchen made a list of things that would help in her pursuit of happiness here’s my first six:

1. Unloading Baggage – I’ve already started and I’m trying to get rid of it in many ways as I can, online, garage sales and flea markets. Hope to work on this one in October.

2. $$Money$$: Money is not all in life but when you work all the time and still can’t make it through the month without counting pennies at the end of the month then its time to evaluate and make changes in the way I spend my money. I’ll spend the month of October evaluating and checking where and how I can make changes to enforce in November.

3. New Job: Need I say more? Looking for a position that will challenge my creative side and/or will give me more time. Ideally I want to move to the Bay Area but with my savings at ZERO I don’t think it’s smart for me to make that move. However, if life things I’m ready now, I’m ready to go. This will be a work in progress

Well TOP THREE! I think for right now this will keep me busy. I hope to have something nice, like a vacation somewhere but anything will probably but into that savings plan, LOL. We’ll see.

Hello WORLD 2011!

I’m a college graduate, I hold a Master of Arts and a Bachelor of Arts in Social Sciences from UCSB. Recently, I’m in search of happiness but most of all personal growth. Along life’s journey I’ve grown in different directions and now it’s time to put it all together and gear my life towards a goal… what I concider HAPPINESS.

What is happiness to me, the next step in my life that’s what I’m trying to figure out although with this blog.  I know what I think is Happiness but I’ll keep that a secret since I’m slightly superstitious and don’t want to ruin it…

LET THIS JOURNEY BEGIN!!!